As a psychologist I want to discuss why failure is a necessary part of developing a growth mindset  in teenagers. The theory about growth mindset was made popular by a researcher named Carol Dweck. Very often, we feel that failure is in some way a negative experience and that children and teens should be protected from experiencing failure. This could not be further from the truth. Acknowledging failure and discussing ways of overcoming it are far more important life lessons that we can every imagine.

Failure is an inevitable part of life, especially during the teenage years when young people are still figuring out who they are and what they want to do. While it can be tempting for parents to shield their children from failure, it’s actually an important part of their growth and development. Consider these factors:

#1 Builds Resilience

Failure teaches teenagers how to handle disappointment, overcome obstacles, and bounce back from setbacks. This is an important skill that will serve them well throughout their lives.

#2 Promotes Learning and Understanding of Self

Failure provides valuable feedback that can help teenagers learn from their mistakes and make improvements. When faced with a failure, teens are forced to take a step back and reevaluate what went wrong. This can be a powerful learning experience that sets them up for success in the future.

#3 Increases Motivation

Failure can actually increase a teenager’s motivation and drive to succeed. When faced with a failure, teens often become more determined to work harder and prove to themselves that they can do better.

#4 Teaches Self-Reflection

Being able to be self-reflective, analyze situations, adapt and change are all positive qualities you would be setting your teenager up for. Many of us struggle with looking inward especially when something goes wrong or had a negative outcome. Being mindful enough to do this is a core skill for living a positive life.

Examples of “good” failures

#1 Embracing Failure: Trying out for a school sports team and not making it

This type of failure can be a good opportunity for teens to learn about perseverance, hard work, and the importance of practicing their skills. Commitment and responsibility to the training regime for a sport are all skills required to excel in sports.

#2 The Growth Mindset: Participating in a school competition and not winning

This type of failure can teach teens that success does not come easily, and that they need to continue working hard to achieve their goals. Consistency and diligence are required when engaging in competition. It also speaks to the importance of goal setting.

#3 Applying to colleges and not getting accepted

This type of failure can help teens learn about the importance of planning ahead, researching their options, and making informed decisions about their future.

#4 Failing at a project or task

Failing at a project or task can be an opportunity to learn new skills, train that growth mindset, gain experience,  learn to be more flexible and improve problem-solving abilities. By reflecting on what went wrong and identifying areas for improvement, future projects can be approached with a better understanding of potential challenges and a more effective plan of action.

Conclusion

Failure is a natural and necessary part of a teenager’s growth and development. Therefore, we should embrace failure. Encourage your teen to embrace failure, and be there to support them along the way. So, the next time you see your teenager miserable because they did not received the desired outcome from a situation, sit down with them, validate their feelings and say “this, too, shall pass!” Just knowing that they can count of you to be their shoulder to lean on will teach them how to reach out to others in their “down times” and not to bottle it all up.

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