Gentle parenting is a technique of parenting where parents’ need to be aware and in full control of their own emotions when addressing or dealing with their children. The gentle parenting method requires the dignity and respect of the child to be observed at all times. What this means is that do not be too harsh on your children’s behavior just because you are feeling stressed or burnt out. Separate the person of the child from their behavior and be reflective when dealing with negative behaviors.
Get to know your children. Each one of them is unique and will have their own unique personalities. So, one technique might work for one child but not the other. Do not be disheartened. And know that whatever the situation is, it is not about how good or bad a parent you are. Remember that above everything else, children need your time. ALL children crave spending time with their parents. Its not about the quantity of time but rather when you do spend time with them, be 100% present in the moment and make it count.
Show understanding and compassion towards your child’s emotions and experiences. Validate their feelings and help them develop empathy for others. For example, if your child is upset because they didn’t get a toy they wanted, you can say, “I understand that you’re disappointed. It’s okay to feel that way. Let’s find something else fun to do together.” This is gentle parenting.
This is probably one of the most challenging areas for parents. Establish clear expectations and limits for your child’s behavior. Communicate these boundaries calmly and use age-appropriate language. For instance, if your child is hitting their sibling, you can say, “Hitting hurts others. We use gentle hands to show love and kindness.”
Focus on teaching and guiding your child rather than using punishments. Use positive reinforcement and natural consequences to encourage desired behavior. For example, if your child forgets to put away their toys, you can say, “When we clean up our toys, it helps us keep our space tidy. Let’s do it together.” Or ” its a shame that the toys have not been put away. Its a nice day for us all to go the park.”
Create a safe and supportive environment where your child feels comfortable expressing their thoughts and feelings. Listen actively and validate their perspectives. For instance, if your child is upset about a disagreement with a friend, you can say, “I’m here to listen. Tell me what happened and how you’re feeling.” Or, ” I can see that you are feeling down. Want to tell me about it? Maybe I can help.”
Take care of yourself to maintain a calm and centered mindset, even in stressful situations. This allows you to respond to your child’s needs with patience and understanding. For example, engage in activities that help you relax and recharge, such as reading, exercising, or spending time with friends.
Remember, your purpose as parents. Gentle parenting is about building strong, positive relationships with your children. Setting clear boundaries and promoting their emotional and social development will help your children grow up with a healthy self-esteem and confidence. Maintaining consistency with implementing boundaries is crucial for this method of gentle parenting to work. Fight the urge to be lazy and allow a boundary to be crossed just because you are feeling tired or frustrated. It is very tempting sometimes! Remember that all actions have consequences or outcomes. The only difference is whether the outcome is going to be positive or negative. Your reactions and behavior will contribute heavily to how situations play out.
Special Education Centre for Dyslexia, Dyspraxia, Learning Difficulties Assessments & Intervention.
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